Weddings are supposed to be about love.
Simple and straightforward. Love.
The union of two individuals who were once strangers but with the power of love they become partners. Sometimes probably in crime but most of the time it’s the harmless most normal thing to do like sharing a house and everything in it. From chores, to bills and yes, children. That’s how significant weddings are.
The changes it brings to a person is too big to not be celebrated, right? Maybe.
Then, why do I loathe weddings?
My friends call me ‘Scrooge’ or for the less creative ‘bitch’..because I boycott weddings with all my heart. It’s a personal vendetta. My usual excuse to the bride or groom who were oh..so kind enough to extend an invitation is : It’s not you, it’s me.
And so my reputation continues. I have been told off, cut off, and there was even an intervention or two because I ‘skipped’ some of my best friends’ weddings. I survived it all, harrowing but hey I’m still standing.
I can actually name each and every wedding I’ve been to because I am such a rare sight at weddings. The ones I’ve attended were usually because the guilt tripping was too overwhelming that it made me lose sleep. Also because the weddings involved those I really love and care about. Which is not many.
Now, don’t get me wrong. It’s not that I don’t care about the people whose weddings I didn’t attend. It’s just that I think they’d be fine if I’m not around. In fact they won’t notice. On top of that, I think I’d be doing them a favour. I mean looking at it positively, my spot can be given to that distant auntie who lives and breathes weddings and she can be invited instead. Besides, I eat a lot and I don’t buy presents.
I’ve gotten into some trouble with friends and family due to my callousness in handling and declining wedding invitations. (I swear I don’t do it on purpose. It’s genetic)
These good people will get upset and overwhelmed by the feeling of betrayal and treating it like an insult they often say “Well..I guess I won’t be going to your wedding when your time comes.”
They say this, smilingly but with hatred and vitriol while waiting for a response anticipating my crushed look and gaping mouth silenced by sadness from their remark.
Sadly, they have yet again put too much expectation in this emotionally stunted being.
So when my response is: “Cool. There’s nothing like a small and sweet wedding preferably with just the groom and the bride.”
Of course I said this with a sly smile on my face because deep inside all I wanted to say was “Never planned to invite you either”
I wanted to say it but I didn’t. I wasn’t raised in a zoo. I may be callous but I still have tact. Or do I?
There’s nothing like a friendly banter that you actually have all the intention of doing has been a lifelong motto of mine.
I soon learnt that I should’ve kept my mouth shut and let them bask in their glory of ‘hurting’ me with threats of not being an attendee at my (imaginary) wedding.
“The wedding” is all they’ve lived for. Planning weddings, attending weddings and making sure they are invited for yes..more weddings. It’s an all-year-round wedding wonderland.
I did get married. None of them were invited and none of it was done out of malice. I was just tired and all I wanted to do was sleep.
jiggajoint 